Synopsis
As the ikkou checks into their evening's inn, the proprietor apologizes, saying that they're shorthanded and can't offer many amenities. Whatever, shrug the guys; it's still better than camping out. Track to outside view, where the moon appears an eerie shade of red and a flight of bats swooshes over the roof. Gee, could there maybe be something...strange...about this place?
We get a nice look at Gojyo in the shower (rear view =), humming contentedly to himself, until the water quits running. He steps out drying his hair and griping to Hakkai. Hakkai says they can't really complain, as the room was so cheap. Room service knocks on the door and Goku charges to retrieve their food; there's no one there, and all that's on the serving cart is a tray with four pint cartons of milk and packaged sandwiches. Goku can't believe this is supposed to be dinner, but the hungry foursome eats it anyway. The shower's broken, grumbles Gojyo, and there's no TV or radio [huh? they never have TV or radio...even Hakuryu only had a radio in the OVA...], and to top it off, Sanzo's out of cigarettes. Are they really gonna stay in this dump? Hakkai diplomatically says they may as well just bear with it tonight and get an early start in the morning.
Goku goes to check out the bleak lobby, hoping for a newsstand that might have cigarettes (and, with luck, snacks) but nope. Figured as much, he sighs. The innkeeper apologizes, and asks if he might be interested in this: a boxed board game. It's a lot of fun, he says, it might help with your boredom. Goku agrees the time might pass more quickly if they played, and the man gives him the game and box of playing pieces, saying there's no other game like this in the world.
Goku brings the game to their room, where Hakkai asks if it's Parcheesi (as Goku did when he first saw it) and examines one of the playing pieces, which are all human figures roughly resembling Lego people. He comments that it looks odd, and it breaks into a big grin; Hakkai blinks in surprise, and the piece has returned to its original expression. Maybe I'm just tired, he says...
--Well, they've got nothing else to do, so G&G decide to play and Hakkai goes along with them. Sanzo snorts that he doesn't play with kids' toys, but throws the dice at Goku's coaxing, and as soon as the throw is made (he rolls an 8) Sanzo's piece sets off all by itself. Gojyo tries to get Sanzo's attention, but he's returned to his newspaper, grumbling that they can play if they want to. At the 8th space the piece stops, the space lights up, the piece's eyes glow red, and it announces that as the game has started, they'll begin with a showy welcome. Streamers and confetti promptly come flying from nowhere. This really is fun! enthuses Goku, and encourages Hakkai to take his turn. Hakkai's dubious, but rolls the dice: his gamepiece likewise trots off on its own, and then announces 'a warm welcome for our guests', whereupon steam baskets loaded with manjuu drop from the ceiling! Hakkai warns that it might be better not to eat the stuff, but of course Goku has already dug in, and Sanzo has had enough: what's with this thing? It seems that what the pieces say becomes reality, comments Hakkai. Gojyo hopes it'll say "you discover an oil field in Arabia" or "you marry a Hollywood actress" in his turn, and starts shaking the dice; as soon as he rolls the steamed buns disappear, to Goku's dismay. (So each person's turn cancels out the previous one, Hakkai observes.)
Gojyo's gamepiece (he chose a female one, of course =) invites them all to the exciting attraction Aqua World; torrents of water come pouring into the room, and not only are the windows and door somehow magically sealed, but the glass has even become bulletproof.
The water level rises fast; Hakkai yells for Goku to roll the dice, but the board is already afloat. Sanzo takes a shot and capsizes it (and looks very pleased with himself!), but the flood continues until Goku dives to the floor and rolls his turn. *poof* the water drains away as inexplicably as it came. Minnasan, daijobu desu ka?--Everyone, are you all right?-- asks Hakkai as the ikkou gasp for breath; Gojyo notes that Sanzo's shot hit the board but it's not damaged at all.
The as-yet unmoved fourth gamepiece sets off on its course, and announces that whoever rolled this turn must act as the Watchdog of Hell until the highest possible number is rolled. Didn't you ask the innkeeper anything about this game before bringing it here? demands Sanzo of Goku, but the saru's reply comes out "Wan!"--Japanese for "Woof!" Yup, Goku can now only bark like a dog. [Wouldn't you think being the Watchdog of Hell would be a little more dramatic than that?]==You're not a dog, you're a monkey, scoffs Gojyo, but Sanzo and Hakkai recall the game piece's sentence, and Sanzo gripes that stupid as this is, they can't stop playing now.
He rolls his turn, but Goku can still only bark (and when he tries to write a note instead, all it says is "wan wan wan wan" =). They deduce that they have to roll two sixes to change Goku back; Sanzo rolls again, but the next playing piece suggests relaxing in the form of a forest spirit for awhile, and when Hakkai and Gojyo look up, Sanzo has turned into...a tree. A Sanzo-faced tree. Honest to Tenkai, that's what happens. (You've got to be kidding, mutters Gojyo. We wish.) ==Sanzo now can't talk or roll the dice, and Goku is still desperately yapping: Hakkai closes his eyes, concentrates...and rolls double sixes. Ta-da! Goku and Sanzo are both back to normal, and Goku hugs Hakkai in extravagant thanks. But...the next playing piece says "a giant dragon wants to play with everyone". Gojyo whispers that it might've been better to leave S&G that way a little longer; Sanzo takes a shot that just misses Gojyo--but what he's really shooting at is the huge purple dragon that's appeared behind the hanyou [aah, and I was hoping for a giant-sized Hakuryu...]. The ikkou attack; Sanzo drops the beastie with two shots, reloads and snaps for Gojyo to roll the dice--he wants to finish this damn game now!
Gojyo grins and says 'what's next? everyone ready?' as he rolls (Hakkai dryly observes that he's enjoying this too much); we see the innkeeper downstairs, saying "I'm sure this time it will end well", and UH-oh, he has a base instead of feet--he's a giant gamepiece!
Gojyo's roll causes the gamepiece to grin and announce that a shower of alcohol will fall, and they should all drink up and have fun. Finally, growls Sanzo [this episode would drive anyone to drink--in fact, excuse me a second...], and Gojyo chortles in glee. But Hakkai rolls his next turn before the prize can appear, saying they need to finish the game. (Gojyo's not pleased.) This one says 'others are there to help you, so lean on them', and we hear, but don't see, Sanzo demanding to know why Hakkai is climbing onto him. Hakkai stammers that he can't help it, his body is acting on its own. [oh man, the fanfic possibilities...] Sanzo shouts to Gojyo to roll another turn, but Gojyo is inclined to let them suffer a minute as reprisal for passing up the free booze, and it takes a bullet to motivate him. The innkeeper looks apprehensive...
The next roll brings them into "the red zone", where a super-cute, grey tabby kitten (OK, Machida-san definitely has a thing about kitties) turns into a huge two-headed tiger-demon, but Sanzo's roll doesn't vanish it, and Hakkai guesses that in the "red zone" that condition no longer applies. Sanzo's penalty is to be sealed into the wall, while H, G&G are still fighting the tiger. Goku tosses the dice up to Hakkai, who rolls, but his piece walks to the final space and then leaves--and Hakkai on the tiger's back turns into a gamepiece himself! You have got to be kidding me, says Gojyo incredulously: unless you roll the exact number of spaces to end the game, you wind up like that? ==at the foot of the stairs, the innkeeper looks up and sighs, saying "it's no good this time, either..."
Gojyo's roll causes the floor under him to turn into a bog, and he sinks in; Goku can't handle the tiger-demon alone (Lego-Hakkai clatters to the floor) and the wall is fast closing around Sanzo. Goku must roll a six despite having the tiger hot on his heels, or all is lost! he uses the nyoi-bo to sweep the dice into his hand, throws his roll and gets a seven--but Sanzo's shot clips one die and rolls it over from two to one. [love it; even in a silly adventure like this, the man always, always nails his shot. =) ] ==The brave warrior has broken the curse, says the final gamepiece; all will return to what should be.
As the ikkou recover, the innkeeper hops into the room, yelling 'congratulations!' and the gamepieces all turn into normal people, including himself. Even the creepy red moon turns back to clear white. Game over, huh?--says Gojyo. The innkeeper explains that a strange magician left the gameboard here as payment for a night's stay at the inn, but everyone who played it was turned into a gamepiece until the SI came along. The village is saved!--whatever they want in return, they need only ask. ==Goku promptly requests a better dinner, Hakkai alcohol to go with it, Sanzo some cigarettes, and Gojyo asks, that cute girl who was my playing piece--where's she? His reply is a ringing slap.
...okay, it has a few laughs, but really now...
